Uff! I can recognize myself here.
I hope you'll enjoy the alternative as much as I do:
In the following story we will focus on Dan and how the things might be different if he were coming from a NVC consciousness.
My boyfriend, Dan, and I had a semi-cheerful conversation on the phone. Then we meet at a pub. He doesn't really smile, nor look at me or say much. I feel disappointed and resentful that I don't see enthusiasm about his seeing me, so I don't offer enthusiasm to him. We leave the pub, we're both feeling tension. Later, I'm unhappy and ask "Can we talk about what happened". He is tense, won't talk about it, and asked me to "let it go". Instead of honoring his request, I insisted on talking about my feelings. (As I understand from other conversations with him, one of his biggest complaints of me is that I don't let things go.) He doesn't cooperate. The evening ends without connection. The morning after, he is tense and doesn't talk much to me; spends an hour in his room. I say nothing for a while, but feelings of fear and anxiety build. I'm telling myself he doesn't care. An hour later, I finally speak "Would you talk to me" (with jackal thoughts in and out). He says "I don't want to". He asks for a few days apart. I cried and left reluctantly. I felt afraid and anxious, and later said things trying to convince him that I'll change and be less reactive. He tells me he's tired of the negativity that seems pervasive in our relationship.
As Dan makes his way to the pub to meet his girlfriend, he notices a sluggishness coming over him. He makes his first new critical decision. He pauses, gets off his bike and sits down on a bench. He takes a moment just to notice the change in him. An hour earlier he felt fine and now that he is going to meet Sara he feels heavy and kind of down.
